so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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