When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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