I faked an abortion last night.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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