Where did you get a picture of my penis
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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