I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
