there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
