Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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