my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
