he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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