I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
