it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
