God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
