Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
