We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
