He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
