i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
