I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize