Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so let's talk penis.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
