There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
50% drunk capacity currently
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize