We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize