Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
