When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
