I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
