well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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