My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize