why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
