how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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