I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I want to have your abortion
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
