I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
