I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
