I hope mine doesn't look like that
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
