you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
