Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
