I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
