I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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