i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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