she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
