gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
