he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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