You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
