your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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