Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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