Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
