Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
