i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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