He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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