Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
