It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
