Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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