You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
