Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So much rum. So many feels.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize