Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
