great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
