Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
