What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I pour the whiskey from now on
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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