What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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