Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
