Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
