My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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