Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
