Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
